Vlad Mazek

Today I got one of the first signs that I am indeed getting old.

On the positive side, I did discover a new feature in my Vette!

I live in a very nice neighborhood in Orlando. Price of living in paradise is that it’s also a tourist hotspot. There is only one way out, and it involves crossing 2 lanes of traffic to get to the northbound side (towards Lake Buena Vista). Naturally, the left hand lane for the northbound turn is filled with “Yours to discover” license plates and there are times I wish they spent more time discovering Ontario instead of getting lost in Florida. Anyhow, I just pull all the way up front in the right hand lane towards Kissimmee because lord knows don’t nobody want to go to Kissimmee! as Martin Lawrence would put it.

Apparently there is some sort of Canadian law against merging into moving traffic. There isn’t one in America. You are allowed to merge into a moving line of traffic if one of the lanes is not occupied. You do not need both lines to be empty for your full line of sight. Trust me on this one.

Anyhow. I do this daily.

Right hand lane, to the full stop.

First gear, punch it, once half way through the traffic shift up, cut the wheel, punch it again and no more cars for half a mile.

Today I must have been a little off my game. I took the left lane.

So about a minute into it, and four cars deep, I looked up and yup. Clean lines, north and south. So I just left my lane, pushed forward and rolled straight to the intersection.

Now, apparently the 20-30 extra yards make a difference in a Z06

I ended up shifting at my usual spot but this time the car must have been going a little bit faster. Instead of just punching it and drifting through the curve, the tail spun and “Active Handling” sign came on.

It did not seem to affect performance at all, because apparently “Active Handling” means “We’ll turn this car on the dime because your dumb ass can’t drive”

Earlier this evening I went back to see what I had done. It looked like a 90 degree turn painted on in Michelin’s.

Now, the 20 year old Vlad would have snickered at that and thought it was the coolest thing ever.

The 30 year old Vlad actually said “Shit, that’s at least $100 right there.”

At least I gave them quite  a show