Next time I build a global internet company we’re basing it out of Vegas or LA.

I don’t know if you should be shaping young children’s minds – you’re failing miserably with the kids in the channel..

This builds on another great quote, from someone whose identity I must protect for the time being due to the VIP status, but:

You can’t claim to be successful if you need to go to SMB Nation.

I’m getting some work done on my blog, looking for some interface help with the new things I will be doing with the blog and my trusty pal Judy is there to nail me. So, here is how the conversation went. I gave her the specs, so she gave me this:

Ok, looks cool right… but not quite shiny, “web 2.0ish” enough. Soooo.. I say the following:

Vlad: It’s not gay enough.

Vlad: Web 2.0 me!

Vlad: I want it to be so gay that the guys on South Beach take a break from pounding each other in the ass long enough to vomit at the gayness that is Vladville Web 2.0 design.

So Judy, being the trooper that she is goes back in the lab and brings this one out:

Alright, now we’re flaming! But she tones it down a bit:

And then I said the words that make the artist sharpen their knife… “The other one looked better.”

What ensued is this, enjoy. NSFW, read the bright green rectangle to the right.

How’s that?

[15:52] paverbuj: the table gets big but you want to have an index on each column separately
[15:55] vladmazek: it will just be a reference standpoint
[15:55] vladmazek: here is the real crackpot idea behind it
[15:55] vladmazek: (let me know if you’re sitting down, I don’t want the wave of stupid to knock you off your feet and cause permanent injury)
[15:56] paverbuj:
[15:56] paverbuj: i’m ready
[15:56] vladmazek: basically, the key here is to create..

Mentally, physically.. emotionally.. I am in the same state I was back in 2002 when I started cranking out huge chunks of code like a madman. It’s sad to admit that most of that code is still on active duty, but..

• I haven’t gone to bed before 4 AM once this week
• I haven’t woken up past 8AM once this week
• I wrote software for fun tonight and automated away about 30 minutes of daily tasks

My life is coming back together at the right time at the right pace and things are starting to look good.

Do I smell optimism? Nah, just the usual arrogance but its damn close! Woooooooo!

Make $250+ Working Only 45 Min./Day!!!!

Oh really? Let me guess what you’re typing for that kind of money. Clothes optional?

The interesting part is that the site links to a legitimate at-home business. Have we really degenerated enough that even legitimate business has to lower its standards so much to get attention?

Can’t argue with results, I clicked on it.

http://www.vlad.net/gallery/wpc2007

Enjoy. If you would like a copy of the movies/videos you were in drop me an email, those are a little bit too personal to put online.

I think that place is LA (well, its Beverly Hills and Pasadena but thats gonna take a lot of mailboxes to pull off)

So I’m in Denver now, Microsoft put me up in a beautiful hotel and tomorrow I get to see Susanne which is something I have really been looking forward to for weeks now. Gay, I know. Even though she is a girl. Though, to be honest, I wish I was back in LA. Katie seemed pissed at me that I went to “our place” by myself so who knows, another short vacation in LA dear?

There is always an exception.

Someone pooed in the urinal.

You read that right – someone in the mens bathroom couldn’t wait and they went #2 in the #1. Classy, straight out of South Park episode. Talk about a way to highlight the evening, watching five hotel workers working at the messy situation in the bathroom. Then they brought out what looked like a 40lb gallon jug of bleach. Yours truly had to go in and take a picture, where three supervisors were watching two guys trying to balance out a.. well… thing.. using long plyers. As the evening went on and we looked at the spectacle from the bathroom they finally handled it with a garbage picker-upper thing. Amazing.

This officially goes down in the book as the “weirdest thing that ever happened at a Microsoft event.” How do you poo into a urinal? How do you wipe? Where do you tug your… I dunno, I am puzzled by the logistics and the brilliance that went into executing this.