Vlad Mazek

Today I got one of the first signs that I am indeed getting old.

On the positive side, I did discover a new feature in my Vette!

I live in a very nice neighborhood in Orlando. Price of living in paradise is that it’s also a tourist hotspot. There is only one way out, and it involves crossing 2 lanes of traffic to get to the northbound side (towards Lake Buena Vista). Naturally, the left hand lane for the northbound turn is filled with “Yours to discover” license plates and there are times I wish they spent more time discovering Ontario instead of getting lost in Florida. Anyhow, I just pull all the way up front in the right hand lane towards Kissimmee because lord knows don’t nobody want to go to Kissimmee! as Martin Lawrence would put it.

Apparently there is some sort of Canadian law against merging into moving traffic. There isn’t one in America. You are allowed to merge into a moving line of traffic if one of the lanes is not occupied. You do not need both lines to be empty for your full line of sight. Trust me on this one.

Anyhow. I do this daily.

Right hand lane, to the full stop.

First gear, punch it, once half way through the traffic shift up, cut the wheel, punch it again and no more cars for half a mile.

Today I must have been a little off my game. I took the left lane.

So about a minute into it, and four cars deep, I looked up and yup. Clean lines, north and south. So I just left my lane, pushed forward and rolled straight to the intersection.

Now, apparently the 20-30 extra yards make a difference in a Z06

I ended up shifting at my usual spot but this time the car must have been going a little bit faster. Instead of just punching it and drifting through the curve, the tail spun and “Active Handling” sign came on.

It did not seem to affect performance at all, because apparently “Active Handling” means “We’ll turn this car on the dime because your dumb ass can’t drive”

Earlier this evening I went back to see what I had done. It looked like a 90 degree turn painted on in Michelin’s.

Now, the 20 year old Vlad would have snickered at that and thought it was the coolest thing ever.

The 30 year old Vlad actually said “Shit, that’s at least $100 right there.”

At least I gave them quite  a show

I am not a violent person. I don’t get into fights, I don’t flip people off while driving….. but put me in front of a sealed drug container when I’m sick and the flow of profanities just does not stop.

I am trying to get through a cold. Today I went and I bought a nasal spray that is supposedly going to stop mucus from forming in my sinuses. Fantastic! Except they put more hard plastic around this beast and completely enclosed it, to the extent that even Secret Service would consider extreme.

So here I am, drowsy, with a headache, sneezing my way around a kitchen with a knife fit to slaughter an elephant with, try to open a 3" nasal spray enclosure.

I guess they can only live up to the promise that they will make you feel better. When you break out an AK-47 and put 300 holes in the damn thing.

Angry, stuffy, Vlad.

Yesterday I woke up very angry.

I started training for the marathon season last week and have not really been pushing myself to do too much too quickly. Over the next three months my primary goal is just not to look like Homerball (from the Simpsons game, if you haven’t played it you are missing out)

I didn’t let anyone in on it either. I managed to make it through the morning meeting cycle very chipper, join in on a chat and a overseas conference call in a good and positive mood, wrote a fair amount of code, managed to take my wife and son out to dinner. It was a good day.

Yet, throughout the day I just could not help myself but wanting to punch every single person and thing I encountered in my way. I think I’ve gone so far in the "business sociopath" track that I am able to control my emotions and provide a very consistent interaction with people, face to face or virtually, and not let in on at all about whats going on.

But man, last night the Wii boxing paid for it big time. Also added more than 2 miles on the ‘mill running and feeling great today.

I guess marathon training is starting to wash out the bitter out of Vlad…

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute! X-Files movie is back? July 25th.

I can’t wait!!! I grew up on X-Files and I can’t wait to see it. I had no idea this was even in production, I guess over the years we have become far more accepting of paranormal fiction genre.

Earlier tonight, while trying to burn an unusually heavy day of eating out, I found a new source of motivation for the physical conditioning. Apparently, it’s all about MMA, UFC specifically.

Apparently, nothing keeps you running forward like watching someone getting the daylight beaten out of them. Kind of hard to give up because of a little muscle burn when you see a guy covered in his own blood being beaten around a ring.

I think I’ve found my new vlog for running

-Vlad

The list of crap I don’t want to see in my back yard ever again keeps on growing. Adding to the pool of gators, rattlesnakes, FSU fans, category 3 hurricanes, deer, armadillos, racoons, badgers…. welcome wildfire with a news chopper flying over.

Damn you nature!

Today has been a big cleanup day at Casa de Vlad, I have basically tried to scrub, vacum, scrape and move around every inch of our place. Thankfully, I have plenty of friends to take digital potshots at me and my impending fatherhood. This one made me laugh out loud, from my mentor Albert Churba:

"You will now be blamed for anything you have ever done."

To which I responded:

"Dude, I have been an ISP for longer than you have. Do you have any doubt in my ability to deal and apologize for shit that is not my fault?

To be honest, I have been getting a lot of "oh man, it is so different" from my business world friends. I put up with crying, whining, guilt trips, conspiracy theories and the like all day long. What is the kid going to throw at me that the monkeys haven’t? Poop? Been there.

From BoingBoing.

Read the comments.

Is it just me or is the parade of geezers getting a little too old for NFL?

It’s not really a halftime show anymore…

It’s a halftime tribute to people that have managed to survive despite their dependance on heroin. Consider the past four years: Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones, Prince and Tom Petty.

These are the headlines over the past four years, not the first four years of 1980’s.

NFL seems to be stuck 20 years in the past, and frankly, as marketers, they are fucking up. They are showcasing geezers that have faded in popularity before most of the todays lucrative advertising age group has even been born.

There is a time and place for people like this, and it’s called Las Vegas. Stick them somewhere in the back of a casino where the elderly can blow their retirement money on something other than slot machines.

For the rest, for the love of god, pick someone that had a hit record THIS CENTURY!

Y..M..C…A……